“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
I was given a plaque with this quote from a dear friend before leaving the hospital yesterday and the words have just been playing on repeat ever since. How true they are!
Yesterday (Monday) we were given the go ahead to head home! Let me tell you, Reuben’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning! His trach is out, he passed his swallow test (he can eat and drink whatever he wants!) and is well on his way to physical recovery. Everyone who has been involved in his care over the past few weeks has been amazed at how well he is doing. He still has a long road until his physical wounds heal but we knew that was going to take time.
I haven’t shared much of the “dark” side of things because I really feel that focusing on the progress and being positive is the best thing for all of us right now. BUT, coming home yesterday, at least for myself, was bitter sweet. I am so happy to have my husband alive and on the mend, excited to be in our own space with no monitors beeping and nurses checking in every hour, happy to have family and friends close and to have Rexton home with us, but I’m not going to sugar coat it, driving into Davenport was HARD yesterday. I have been so focused on Reuben and getting him well that I have put all the events of the past few weeks in a little box and pushed it to the back of my mind. The hospital became my safe zone where I didn’t have to deal with reality. Well, reality hit me square in the face last night. We are all in different stages of our processing of everything that has happened. If I can ask one more favor of you all, please continue praying for the emotional healing of not only Reuben, Kurtis and Susie, but also for all of the people that are grieving the loss of a friend, the people who are struggling making sense of all of this and for the communities involved. No matter what side of the “fence” you are on, we are all human and have feelings that need sorted out and that will just take time and lots of prayer and reflection.
On a brighter note, Reuben will be able to be in the delivery room when this baby decides to make his/her appearance. Let’s hope we have a little time to get settled into a new routine before that happens, but again, we will just take one day at a time and figure out how to handle whatever life throws at us! Thank you all for being such great supporters, the words of encouragement and prayers have done more than I could ever explain. We will be sure to update when the little one arrives!
As always, visitors are welcome, please just send me a message/call/text and make sure that we are around.
***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-13-18.***
