On Saturday, October 27th Reuben was involved in an incident in which he sustained multiple gun shot wounds. He was lifelighted to Lincoln and is in the hands of an amazing team of trauma and ICU doctors and nurses.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. We are truly humbled and blessed by the outpouring of love, support, and kindness everyone has shown!

***This update originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 10-27-18.***

So, it has been a week since this whole nightmare started. In that time Reuben has had surgery to remove the damaged part of his right lung, repair his diaphragm, liver and the protective covering of his abdomen. They placed a temporary feeding tube that will stay in place while he is on the ventilator.

Thursday he stood with assistance and shuffled to sit in the chair. Friday they put in a trach and moved the ventilator from his mouth to the trach. So, he is still not able to talk but at least he can mouth words! I am definitely NOT a mind reader but we are getting better at communicating. Kind of like interpreting for Rexton. He still has a lot of healing to do and getting him to rest is proving difficult but we will take whatever forward
movement we can make!

I have a personal request for all of you, please remember that everyone has questions and opinions. Remember that there are people who care for all parties involved and that what matters right now is the healing process not the he said / she said talk. I understand the want/need to defend and engage in when you disagree with what is being said but there is a lot to sort out and we just need to have faith that the truth will come out and shed light on the whole situation. Prayers do more than arguments!

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-3-18.***

The ability our body has to heal itself is truly amazing! Since I first sat down to update you all on Saturday, Reuben has made great strides in his recovery!

Once things started moving, they moved extremely fast. Both of his chest tubes came out, he is off the ventilator and best of all….he has been walking and talking today!!!

Originally the plan was to move him to a long term acute care rehab facility BUT since he is off the ventilator, it looks like he will be able to go to regular acute rehab.

He is still not able to eat or drink anything on his own. They did a swallow test this afternoon and unfortunately he did not pass. So, he will work with therapy on some exercises to help his muscles get used to swallowing with the trach and try again in a few days.

Just like the rest of us, he is still trying to process everything but his spirits are good and he is determined to get out of here as soon as he can. His goal is to be in the delivery room when this baby is born and the doctor seems to think that is a possibility!

He has been making jokes with the nurses and has been a way better patient than I ever imagined he would be. Aside from deciding he wanted to sleep on the floor this morning, he has been doing very well at following “orders” even if he doesn’t really want to. (Be sure to ask him about the floor incident when you see him, it’s a good one! 😆)

We know there is a lot of healing to be done, physically, mentally and emotionally and it helps to know that we are surrounded by such an amazing community of friends and family!

Thanks again for the continued thoughts, prayers, calls and texts!

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-5-18.***

Wow! When things start moving around here, you have a hard time keeping up!

Yesterday (Tuesday), Reuben’s level of care was downgraded from ICU to progressive care! Tomorrow (Thursday) he is headed to the rehab floor!

He still has his trach and feeding tube. They are working on swallowing exercises to help him learn how to eat with the trach in. It sounds like either Friday or Monday they will try the swallow test again.

He was up and walking quite a bit today. We even got to take a wheelchair for a little stroll around the hospital. I think it did a world of good just to get out of a tiny hospital room for a bit. For those of you who may not know Reuben very well, he does not sit still for very long, nor does he spend much time indoors so being couped up has been a bit of a struggle!

Thank you all for the continued prayers, thoughts, well wishes and support! I know I keep saying it, but I don’t know how we would be getting through this without all of you! We are so blessed!!

I have a personal request for all of you tonight. There are a few families that we have become close with during our stay here. If you could, please send up a prayer for their loved ones as well! They have become family to us and we hope and pray they are as fortunate as we have been to have so much support.

Now, I must get some sleep! (The new room has a couch that I can sleep on! No more sleeping on a bench in the waiting room!!) You know how they say sleep when the baby sleeps? I think my new motto is sleep when the patient sleeps! Again, thank you all for everything you have done!!

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-7-18.***

It is game day in Lincoln!! We got to watch the BDS Lady Eagles bring home a state volleyball championship and are currently cheering on the Huskers from the “comfort” of our new room on the rehab floor.

Reuben was moved up to the rehab floor Thursday. All of his therapists keep saying how impressed they are with his progress. His pain is minimal and thankfully he was a strong man when this all happened. It appears he hasn’t lost much of his physical strength. Right now, the focus is getting him able to swallow with the trach. Once he is able to eat, it sounds like he will be able to bust out of here! Obviously, there is still a lot of healing to do regarding his internal injuries and wounds but that all just takes time and rest. He is still struggling with being able to sleep. The poor guy just can’t get comfortable anywhere. (You may or may not know, he’s kind of a big man! 🙂 Finding a bed that is long enough has proved futile.)

Overall his spirits are good! I’m not sure we have ever spent so much one on one time with eachother! I keep reminding myself of our wedding vows and how I never dreamed that they would ever be put to a “test” such as this! We have had many conversations about how much stronger our relationship has become. I never thought I could love him any more than the day we were married, then we had Rexton and I remember thinking again that there is no way I could love him any more, well…I was wrong again! They day that he looked at me in the ICU and mouthed I love you, my heart almost burst!! With that being said, visitors are welcome! We are getting tired of staring at eachother 🙂 and it helps break up the monotony of the day. Just give me a shout if you plan on visiting and I can let you know his schedule and how to find us.

We continue to be amazed at the outpouring of prayers and support from all of you! Just so you are aware, any donation given through CaringBridge, does not directly benefit Reuben. These donations are to help keep the CaringBridge website up and running. If you feel called to donate to help offest the expenses related to Reuben’s injuries, let me know and I can point you in a few different directions. They way people have come together to help us and his parents is truly amazing! Please continue to pray for strength, healing and comfort! We know there will be a lot of healing to do once we get home and are happy to know we are surrounded by such a great support group!

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-10-18.***

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

I was given a plaque with this quote from a dear friend before leaving the hospital yesterday and the words have just been playing on repeat ever since. How true they are!

Yesterday (Monday) we were given the go ahead to head home! Let me tell you, Reuben’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning! His trach is out, he passed his swallow test (he can eat and drink whatever he wants!) and is well on his way to physical recovery. Everyone who has been involved in his care over the past few weeks has been amazed at how well he is doing. He still has a long road until his physical wounds heal but we knew that was going to take time.

I haven’t shared much of the “dark” side of things because I really feel that focusing on the progress and being positive is the best thing for all of us right now. BUT, coming home yesterday, at least for myself, was bitter sweet. I am so happy to have my husband alive and on the mend, excited to be in our own space with no monitors beeping and nurses checking in every hour, happy to have family and friends close and to have Rexton home with us, but I’m not going to sugar coat it, driving into Davenport was HARD yesterday. I have been so focused on Reuben and getting him well that I have put all the events of the past few weeks in a little box and pushed it to the back of my mind. The hospital became my safe zone where I didn’t have to deal with reality. Well, reality hit me square in the face last night.  We are all in different stages of our processing of everything that has happened. If I can ask one more favor of you all, please continue praying for the emotional healing of not only Reuben, Kurtis and Susie, but also for all of the people that are grieving the loss of a friend, the people who are struggling making sense of all of this and for the communities involved. No matter what side of the “fence” you are on, we are all human and have feelings that need sorted out and that will just take time and lots of prayer and reflection.

On a brighter note, Reuben will be able to be in the delivery room when this baby decides to make his/her appearance. Let’s hope we have a little time to get settled into a new routine before that happens, but again, we will just take one day at a time and figure out how to handle whatever life throws at us! Thank you all for being such great supporters, the words of encouragement and prayers have done more than I could ever explain. We will be sure to update when the little one arrives!

As always, visitors are welcome, please just send me a message/call/text and make sure that we are around.

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 11-13-18.***

Seven and a half weeks…it has been seven and a half weeks since this journey began. Some days it seems like an eternity ago; other days it seems like only yesterday.

It is amazing to me how much can happen in just a few short weeks! I have started to sit down to update you all many times since Reuben was released from the hospital but things just have been so crazy around here that I never got it done. It occurred to me the other night, as we were out and about when the basketball game got over in town, that there are many people who we don’t see or talk to in our day to day happenings that are wondering how things are going. I promise that I didn’t forget about all of you!!

The holiday season tends to be a time when people really think about what they are thankful for and during a discussion with my mom on Thanksgiving we talked about how much we all have to be thankful for this year. Her words were “New life, restored life, and eternal life.” I have thought often of those words since Thanksgiving and thought it would be fitting to use as a final update for all of you.

New Life – Raylan Wells Elting

We welcomed our newest edition to the family on November 24th! A little boy who came a few days early but at the perfect time! We hosted family Thanksgiving at our house on Thursday and I really was convinced we would be going to the hospital that night….I was wrong! But, Friday night/Saturday morning our little peanut decided he was ready to join the family. How thankful I was that he waited until Daddy was home AND able to drive us to the hospital! (For those of you who don’t know me, I am a very strong willed person and I was determined that if Reuben hadn’t been cleared to drive when the baby decided to come, that I would be totally fine getting us to the hospital! Well, as it turns out, I probably could have driven us but was so very thankful that Reuben had been cleared to drive earlier in the week!) Raylan is now three weeks old and reminds us each day how precious life is and that there is some much to look forward to.

Renewed Life – Reuben William Elting

First off, Reuben is doing very well! Although his wounds and incisions are healing nicely, sometimes it is hard to remember that there is major healing going on internally. I never would have guessed, when I first sat down to tell you all about this journey, that we would be home let alone seeing him walking and doing normal everyday things already! It is going to be a long process as his internal injuries continue to heal, but he is learning his limitations and taking everything in stride. We travelled to Missouri this weekend to spend time with Reuben’s aunt, uncle and parents. As we drove (and let me tell you, it was A LOT of time spent in the pickup!) I would catch myself just staring at Reuben. I keep thinking to myself, how thankful I am to get to look at him, hold his hand and tell him I love him. Also, how thankful I am that my boys get to have their daddy here to raise them. As time goes on and our life settles a little bit more each day, I am coming face to face with the reality of how close we were to actually losing him. God worked miracles that day and we are forever grateful for all of the prayers that were sent up on his/our behalf.

Eternal Life – Remington Wells Elting

This is a little harder for me to write…. I have lost people very close to me before, but this is different; the process of saying goodbye is different. For me, funerals are a part of that process and as you may or may not know, Reuben and I were not able to attend Rem’s funeral. I have said all along that I would not have gotten through this without my faith and that still holds true! I know that Rem has passed on to an even better life than any of us can imagine! I recently saw a picture that showed a person lying in a hospital bed with grieving family by their bedside. On the other side of the bed, you see the dying person being welcomed to heaven in an amazing reunion with loved ones that had gone before him. This is what I imagine Rem’s entrance to heaven was like. Jesus was there to welcome him with open arms and show him the way to his family and friends that made it to heaven before he did! I only hope that I can instill that faith in my children and teach them to know with the same certainty that although death royally sucks for those of us left here on earth; God has promised us eternal life and therefore, we have an amazing group of people waiting for us in heaven! This part of the healing process is going to take the longest. Honestly, it will never be complete!

So, my final plea to all of you is that you continue to pray.

Pray for Reuben – that he continues to heal physically.

Pray for Kurtis & Susie – that they are able to find some comfort in knowing that Rem is in Heaven and watching over us every day.

Pray for all of Rem’s family & friends – that they may be able to come to terms with what has happened and that they have faith that can help them through the grieving process.

Thank you all for being there for all of us during this journey! I know there is no way we will ever be able to make sure we thank each and every one of you, but know that we are so very thankful for all of you! Your thoughts, prayers and continued support are what has helped make this whole journey a little easier to handle. This will be the last update that I make on the CaringBridge site, but please don’t hesitate to reach out and see how things are going. We love hearing from all of you!

Have a very Merry Christmas!

***This update was originally shared on Reuben’s CaringBridge site on 12-19-18.***